Updated: Jun 20, 2022
“You’re strong but when I was your age I used to duct tape 3 plates around me and hit dips.” A quote from my father to me more frequent then I could remember as I went through my high school years. In fact, I can recall many of the comments and conversations I had with my Dad throughout my life, which were more impactful then I could ever imagine.
As an adult you make decisions from your subconscious mind (science says 95%) that is normally based on events and emotions from your past. Each experience you have as a kid forms your mind (i.e. brain at work). As a man, the influence of your father is something that is hard to put a value too. In fact, I will say it is “invaluable.”
My whole career and hobbies were built on my father’s influence. His role as a man, a provider, to a young boy was vital. Work ethic, discipline, courage, morals and so many more vital life skills are developed because of a strong male influence in a young boy’s life. As I look at society today I can only blame, or point to, a lack of masculine men in the lives of boys as they are becoming men. For me, I never lived in lack for this category and his influence shaped who I am today.
The blessings of a father, for me, set me up through specific actions… here are some of those specific highlights of my father’s words and actions:
· DISCIPLINE… Starting in the 8th grade my Dad woke me up at 4:30am and would take me to the gym, at least 2-3 days per week… to this day I never have issues getting up at 4:00am and I usually start my workouts prior to 5:30am…
· DISCIPLINE… one day we were headed home from the gym (it happened to be at night) and I told him, “Dad, I really did not want to go tonight but I am glad I did.” He replied, “the best time to train is when you do not want to.” Then we sat in silence the rest of the way home as those words ran through my head like a crackhead on a spin bike.
· DRIVE… “You are getting small.” Verbal expressions of motivation that I heard every day when I came home from college… or when he came to visit me while I was in college. Either way it toughened me up and made me push myself more…
· WORK ETHIC… I remember during weekends that my soft a*^ friends would be playing or doing whatever they wanted to do but not at the Wine house. Weekends for me growing up were yard work and other laborious tasks. I could not be more thankful as an adult for this skill!!
· VALUES… Sundays were spent with family and God, not friends. This time spent was amazing and as I have my own boys I will fill their lives with family and God as well… morals and values are created through an knowing of who is Lord and all that he can provide.
· RESPECT… the best way to show men how to respect women is through actions… I can only recall one vivid argument between my father and mother, it was impactful and I can still remember it. However, I can recall how my father did a lot of the work that was supposed to be for “women” and how he was around…
· RESPECT… one day I was being a smart a*^ kid to my mom, talking back, just being bad… when all of a sudden, my dad comes out of nowhere, lifts me by my neck, walks slowly through the hallway holding me up with one hand, opens the garage door and throws me out. The garage had steps so the fall was not fun (landing on concrete). His only words to me following the toss, “do not talk to your mother like that.” He locked the door and I was stuck outside for over 2 hours. Having respect for my parents, the elderly and women was something he stressed over and over to me, but more importantly he showed me!
Legends never die for they live forever in the people who they inspire the most. You were my role model as a boy and you are my role model as a man… to all the fathers out there man up and raise your kids right!