STEP OVER THE LINE... to Achieve Success!!

There is a line in life that every one of us has to face in life. On one side of that line is comfort, convenience, and conformity. On the other side of that line is challenge, discomfort, and the possibility of failure. Where do you think most people stay? Wherever it feels the most safe. They want to blend in, follow the crowd and never test themselves because testing yourself means risking failure. But nothing great ever comes from the safe side of the line. You have to Step Over the Line to Achieve Success!! And that is where I’ve lived my entire life. If a crowd of my peers moved left, I moved right. Not out of rebellion, well maybe a litter, but more because I refuse to let anyone dictate my direction. But you don’t build confidence from talent, you build it through preparation, hard work, and a willingness to stand alone when necessary.

“Preparation is the key to confidence.”

I’ve watched this play out in sports for years… and now I am watching it play out in my very own twins. When kids are young, the talented ones look unstoppable. They’re bigger, faster, stronger and they dominate the game without much effort. But as they get older, talent starts to level out and by the time they reach college, the gap closes. Now everyone is talented and strong, so how can you separate yourself from the rest? Talent might get you to the door, but GRIT is what kicks the door down. The kids who weren’t the stars early on often become the best later because they had to learn how to work. They didn’t rely on talent, they relied on habits. They learned to FOCUS on the process instead of obsessing over the outcome. They trained with purpose because they knew nothing would be handed to them. That mindset builds something talent can’t touch: Grit.

Meanwhile, the naturally gifted kids sometimes struggle later because they never had to push through real discomfort when they were young. I am seeing this playout in one of my twin boys, Leo. He was always gifted and he didn’t have to learn how to grind to be the best. Now, as the game gets harder, and the outcome requires more effort than talent alone, he sometimes hits a wall; it shows up as frustration, crying and a quitters mentality. He wants the reward but isn't prepared for the sacrifice. That is why greatness will always live on the other side of comfort. You simply cannot reach your potential by doing what feels easy… you reach it by stepping across that line and staying there long enough to grow into someone new.

This is why I worry about what we’re doing with our kids today. We are making them too comfortable, giving them everything they want right away, shielding them from anything that might hurt, lying to them to tell them “good job” even though it wasn’t. We have removed obstacles, softened struggles, and protected their feelings by telling them everyone should care. It sounds kind, virtuous even, but it robs them of the opportunity to develop GRIT. In truth, kids need adversity, struggle, challenge and someone to tell them that sucked when it did. They need to understand that wanting something doesn’t matter if they aren’t willing to invest the time to earn it. Too many kids say “I want,” but very few are willing to sacrifice to get it.

“Wanting something doesn’t matter if you aren’t willing to invest time to earn it.”

And let’s be honest… Part of the problem is the world around them. Social media algorithms reward shortcuts and provide immediate satisfaction. I believe the latest marketing information says that you have less than 2 seconds to capture someone's attention now? Before phones and social media, it used to be 7 seconds. Everything is fast, easy, and filtered. But I have news for you, real life is not like that at all!! Real life is built on responsibility, effort, and the courage to face hard things head-on. When we shelter kids from struggle we unintentionally create more of it; we are raising young people who crumble under the first sign of pressure. Victimhood, the most poisonous mindset today, becomes the default because it’s easier to blame someone else. Oh, and don’t worry, even if the kid doesn’t blame others, their mommy sure will!

Look, as a father first (coach second), one of the most important lessons I can teach my kids, and any kid I coach, is how not to become a VICTIM. The world will always offer the easy way out and society will always give you a reason… But, there are a million excuses but not one reason. The only path that matters is the one where you choose responsibility, step over the line, and face whatever comes at you. That is where confidence is built and how GRIT is formed.

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